I Recently Attended A Pro-drug Rally... In

I Was Heavily Influenced By Andy Kaufman And Steven Wright.

I'm Finally Going To Be Able To Finally Criticize [hillary Clinton] Without Being Accused Of Being A Sexist - That Idea. I'm Not A Fan, I Don't Like Her, But You Can't Say Anything Without Being Accused Of Being A Sexist Pig, Which Is Unfair.

[on The Dating Handbook] 'with A Telescope, Some Munchies, And A Warm Blanket, Watch For Halley's Comet.' Yeah. I Like That. There's No Time Limit. Just Sit There And Grow Old Together.

The Underpinning Of Immigration Concerns Is Xenophobia And Racism And Nationalism.

I've Gotten "condescending" A Million Times, And That's Not Good.