Strangers Are Just Friends I Haven't Met

There Are Two Things I Don't Care How Smart You Are, You Will Never Understand. One Is An Alienist's Testimony, And The Other Is A Railroad Timetable.

Don't Invite Me If You Don't Want Me.

American Invents Everything, But The Trouble Is We Get Tired Of It The Minute The New Is Wore Off.

There Is No Credit To Being A Comedian, When You Have The Whole Government Working For You. All You Have To Do Is Report The Facts. I Dont Even Have To Exaggerate.

People Are Marvelous In Their Generosity, If They Just Know The Cause Is There.