Stem Cells Are Like Toenail Clippings With

The Best Part About Being My Age Is In Knowing How My Life Worked Out. Sure, There's A Lot More Living To Go, But There Isn't Much Doubt That I'll Always Be The 'dilbert Guy.' Unless I Go On A Crime Spree, In Which Case I'll Be That Stabbin Dilbert Guy.

My Old Life - No Amount Of Getting Used To It Would Have Made It Right.

The Amount Of Energy Spent Laughing At A Joke Should Be Directly Proportional To The Hierarchical Status Of The Joke Teller.

People Are Idiots. Including Me. Everyone Is An Idiot, Not Just The People With The Low Sat Scores. The Only Difference Is That We're Idiots About Different Things At Different Times. No Matter How Smart You Are, You Spend Much Of Your Day Being An Idiot.

As A Rule, I Don't Like To Laugh At The Misfortune Of Others. The Exception To That Rule Is If It's Really, Really Funny.