Statistics Show 50% Of The People Use

Mitt Romney Is Predicting That As President, He Will Create 12 Million Jobs In His First Term. Well, President Obama Says A Romney Presidency Would Result In Lost Jobs. Yeah, His And Biden's.

John Kerry Announced That He And His Wife Are Leaving On A Week-long Vacation. He's Going To Take Her Back To The Place Where He First Proposed To Her - At Her Bank.

The Stock Market Was Down Today. Two Major Businesses Declared Bankruptcy, Consumer Spending Is At An All Time Low - In Other Words, Bush Is Back On The Job.

U.s. Government Has Said They Are Now Going To Go After The Terrorist's Electronic Banking System. You Know What They Should Do? They Should Transfer Bin Laden's Funds To My Bank. They'd Mess Up His Deposits, Screw Up His Statement And Nickel And Dime Him To Death With Service Charges.

President Obama Was In Disney World Today Where He Unveiled His New Plan To Create Jobs. He Was Joined By Mickey Mouse And Minnie Mouse But Not Goofy. He Had To Stay Behind To Tend To His Vice Presidential Duties.