Stand-up Is Great Because I Can Get

Now, I'm No Doctor, But I Am On Tv. And In My Professional Opinion, George Bush Is A Paranoid Schizophrenic.

Jesus Is Not A Candle. A Company In South Dakota Is Selling Candles With The Scent Of Jesus. You Light One And Your Friends Says, Christ, What's That Smell?

I Love The Tea Party. They Are The Ultimate Beer Goggles. They Make Everything Look Better.

Officials Believe That One Of The Terrorists Was A Woman. And There Are Female Suicide Bombers. It's Just That Their Reward In Paradise Is A Little Different. Instead Of Getting 72 Virgins, They Get 72 Guys Who Just Listen.

I Think There Is A Problem, Though, With The Media Gushing Over [obama] Too Much. I Don't Think He Thinks That He's All That, But The Media Does. I Mean, The Coverage After, That I Was Watching, From Msnbc, I Mean These Guys Were Ready To Have Sex With Him.it's Embarrassing.