Soup Is Just A Way Of Screwing

When You Do Late-night Tv, You Do Different Jokes In The Same Place Every Night. When You're On The Road As A Comedian, You Do The Same Jokes In A Different Place Every Night.

The Washington Bullets Are Changing Their Name. They Don't Want Their Team To Be Associated With Crime. From Now On, They'll Just Be Known As The Bullets.

It Happened Again This Week. Hundreds Of People Had To Be Evacuated From O'hare Airport In Chicago. Seems Every Time Somebody Went Through With A Weapon, The Metal Detectors Accidentally Went Off.

These White House Scandals Are Not Going Away Anytime Soon. People In Kenya Are Now Saying He's 100 Percent American. That's How Bad It's Gotten.

Michele Bachmann Said That If She Is Elected President, She Would Consider Eliminating The Department Of Education Because "the States Could Do A Gooder Job.