Soup Is Just A Way Of Screwing

Now The Democrats Control The Senate. But The Good News Is That Now The Republicans Can Admit That Strom Thurmond Has Been Dead Since 1988.

President Bush Is Now Focusing On Jobs. I Think The One Job He's Focusing Most On Is His Own. The White House Is Now Backtracking From Its Prediction That 2.6 Million New Jobs Will Be Created In The U.s. This Year. They Say They Were Off By Roughly 2.6 Million Jobs.

Riding A Ducati Is Like Having Sex With An Aerobics Instructor - You Know, I'm Exhausted And Panting And It's Going: 'are You Done, Already?'

I'm Sure You Know By Now, Jesse Jackson Was Overheard Saying, And I'll Put This More Delicately, That He Wanted To Cut Barack Obama's Testicles Off. And Jesse Has Been On Several News Programs The Last Couple Of Days, Explaining What He Meant By Those Comments. Do You Need To Explain That?

Well, President-elect Barack Obama And His Family Are Gonna Spend The Holidays In His Home State Of Hawaii. And You Know Who Couldn't Be More Thrilled With This? The Press, The Reporters Who Follow The President. Well, Think About It. After Eight Years Of Spending Every Holiday Cutting Brush In Crawford, Texas, They Get To Go To Hawaii!