Soup Is Just A Way Of Screwing

According To The Latest L.a. Times Poll, 75% Of Californians Believe The Country Is Headed In The Wrong Direction. And 60% Of Californians Are So Disillusioned, They're Thinking About Moving Back To Mexico.

L.a.'s Large Convenience Stores Are So Big They Can Accommodate Up To Twenty Armed Robbers At One Time.

Scientists Believe That Monkeys Can Be Taught To Think, Lie And Even Play Politics Within Their Community. If We Can Just Teach Them To Cheat On Their Wives We Can Save Millions On Congressional Salaries.

There Was Another War-related Casualty Today. The French Were Injured When They Tried To Jump On Our Bandwagon.

Anyway, A Spokesman For Barack Obama Says The Prisoners That Are Released From Guantanamo Will Either Be Sent Back To Their Home Countries Or Enter The New York City Cab Driver Training Program.