If We Go Down In Flames, We

L.a.'s Large Convenience Stores Are So Big They Can Accommodate Up To Twenty Armed Robbers At One Time.

Here Is A Very Inexpensive Costume Idea. Wear A Re-elect Obama Button And Go Out As A Journalist.

It's Just A Matter Of Time Before We Go Into Iraq And Get Saddam Hussein. I Think Just Before Bush Falls Below 50 Percent, That's When We'll Be Going.

The Sacramento Bee Is Reporting That Arnold Schwarzenegger Is Not Going To Run For Governor. You Know What Would Be Better? Arnold Should Do What He Does In The Terminator Movies. He Should Go Back In Time And Prevent Gray Davis From Ever Being Born. That Way You Wouldn't Have The Problem.

Attorney General John Ashcroft Has Been Hospitalized. I Believe He Is Suffering From Homophobia. No, Actually, It Was Just Gallstones, But When They Gave Him The Hospital Gown That Opens In The Back, He Refused To Wear It, He Thought It Was A Gay Wedding Dress.