Sometimes You Gotta Work A Little, So

Most Single People I Know, Myself Included, Have A Difficult Time Even Meeting Up With The People They Like, Be It Busy Schedules, Texting Games, Or Whatever.

Even In My Stand-up, There's A Lot More Positivity And Enthusiasm Rather Than Negative, I-hate-everything Vibes.

Yes, I'm Married. But My Wife Understands That A Good Politician Has To Be Appealing To The Ladies. The Fact That I Haven't Even Gotten Close To Cheating On Her Is A Disappointment To Us Both.

She Broke Up With Me. Didn't Really Tell Me Why. Luckily When You're The Guy, You Can Just Tell People She's Crazy. 'hey, Tom, I Heard You And Lucy Broke Up.' 'yeah, Man. Turns Out, She's Crazy.' That's What They Always Do On Entourage.

Everyone Steals. My Favorite Movie Is Love Don't Cost A Thing With Nick Cannon. Which Is Based On Can't Buy Me Love, Which Is Based On Kramer Vs. Kramer, Or Something, Which I Think Was Shakespeare.