Sometimes In New York, You're Walking Down

As Most New Yorkers Have Done, I Have Given Serious And Generous Thought To The State Of My Apartment Should I Get Killed During The Day.

Unless We're Talking About Old-school, Witchcraft-trial Violence, Can We Please Phase Out The Phrase 'girl Crush?' While We're At It, If We Can Axe 'like, Total Girl Crush' Unless Total Girl Crush Is The Name Of A Fizzy Soft Drink, In Which Case I'll Take Two, Thank You.

It Seemed More And More Like Something Out Of A Children's Book - The Butterfly That Followed The Little Girl All The Way Home To Her Fifth-floor Walk-up. How Above-the-law Children's Books Are. Hansel And Gretel (littering, Breaking And Entering), Rumpelstiltskin (forced Labor), Snow White (conspiracy To Commit Murder), Rapunzel (breach Of Contract).

As Most Doctors Will Tell You, Cleansing Is Ridiculous. You Know What's Been Around Longer Than That State-of-the-art Juicer? Your Kidneys. And Your Liver. Still, The Cleanse Has Recalibrated My Definition Of A Splurge.

The Hardest Thing Is Spending Twelve Hours A Day Accommodating The Rest Of The World, Then Going Home At Night And Criticizing It. I Would Be Curious About What I'd Write If I Didn't Have To Worry About Offending.