Sometimes, I Go To Barnes & Noble

The Problem With Doing Commercials Is That The Only Thing Good Enough For Me To Sell Is Myself, And I Stopped Doing That Once I Kicked My Coke Habit.

That Hugh Laurie Show Is Nothing But Scrubs Fan Fiction.

People Have Always Wondered What My Opinion On Stevie Wonder Is. I Say If He's So Great How Come He Can't See? I Mean, God Doesn't Make Mistakes, Just Look At Me For Example.

Everyone Has An Idea That They Think Would Be A Great Movie. Everyone Has A Cousin Who They Think You Should Work With.

You Know, I Think There Should Be A Zach Braff Day. We Could Have It On December 25th And Then People Can Decide Whether They Want To Celebrate Me Or Jesus. If You Ask Me, The Choice Is Pretty Obvious.