Some Women Take Up The Law And

It's So Long Since I've Had Sex I've Forgotten Who Ties Up Who.

Gay Marriage, I Am So Against It Because If All My Gay Friends Get Married, It Will Cost Me A Fortune In Gifts.

The People Voting For The Oscars Are So Old. I Haven't Seen One Academy Award Voter With A Tampon In Her Purse.

[when Told That Her Grandchild Had Her Nose:] I Didn't Get This Nose Until I Was Thirty-four.

The Glass Is Always Half Empty. All Good Comedians Are Manic-depressive.