I Use A Smoke Alarm As A

You Know It's Time To Start Using Mouthwash When Your Dentist Leaves The Room And Sends In A Canary.

Gay Marriage, I Am So Against It Because If All My Gay Friends Get Married, It Will Cost Me A Fortune In Gifts.

I Like My Politicians And My Judges And My Lawyers To Be Simple. I Think If You Worry About Where Your Hemline Is You're Really Not Concentrating On The World Crisis.

My Perfect Last Meal Would Be: Shrimp Cocktail, Lasagna, Steak, Creamed Spinach, Salad With Bleu Cheese Dressing, Onion Rings, Garlic Bread, And A Dessert Of Strawberry Shortcake.

I Don't Think There'd Be A Tina Fey Now If I Hadn't Tried To Look Good In The Beginning.