Snl Is A Home. You've Got All

One Night I Couldn't Sleep. It Was Like 2:00 In The Morning. I Was Thinking, 'what Can I Do?' I'm Watching Tv. I'm Like, 'let Me Do Something Else.' I'm Not Going To Fall Asleep For A Few Hours. What Are My Hobbies? There Was The Masturbation Option. I Skipped That Because Just Knowing My Kids Are Down The Hall I Felt Psychotic. So, I Went With Watching More Tv. I Couldn't Come Up With Anything. I Was Going, 'god, Read A Book.' Then I Was Like This, 'where Do I Keep The Books?' I've Got Nothing To Do But Watch Tv.

When I Was Kid, Yeah, My Family, My Parents Wanted Me To Marry A Jewish Girl Because That Was What They Taught Their Children, And Thought It Would Be An Easier Life For Me To Raise A Jewish Kid. And I Have A Jewish Wife, I Have A Jewish Kid. They Seem Pretty Happy About It.

It's Important I Surround Myself With People Who Make Me Happy.

I've Got A Hockey Record, I Took Off My Skate And Tried To Stab A Guy, I'm The Only Person Who Ever Tried That.

If A Girl Breaks Up With Me, I Want Her To Just Die, Just Be Dead. Not 'cause I Hate Her So Much As It's Just Easier For When My Friends Go, 'hey, What Happened?' 'oh, She's Dead. I'd Still Be With Her, But She's Dead. What Can I Do? She Was Loving Me, But She's Dead.'