Scientology Is Weird Because It's New.

I Remember My First Standup Act When I Was Seventeen; I Did A Really Lame Song About Being Flat Chested. I Was Doing It In New York, And I Remember Kevin Brennan, The Guy I Lost My Virginity To, Was Like "that Song Doesn't Make Sense, You Have Tits."

I Was Paralyzed With Fear. It Was Unbearable To Be Among Other Kids Who Were Just Standing Around Being Fine. It Was One Of The Many Inconveniences Of This Paradox I Lived With -the More People I Was Surrounded By, The More Frighteningly Alone I Felt.

I Remember The Horror Story That I Told Myself Over And Over Again. I'm Totally Alone In My Body. I'm Totally Alone In My Head And Nobody Will Ever See Through My Eyes. I'm Just Completely Alone.

I Grew Up In A House Where There Were No Taboos, So It Came Originally From A Pretty Innocent Place, Where I Was Shocked At The Things That Shocked People.

I Love Making Videos On My Couch. You Can Put Those On The Internet Fast. I Can Express Myself.