Say Anything About Me, Darling, As Long

I'm As Pure As The Driven Slush.

They Say It's The Good Girls Who Keep Diaries. The Bad Girls Never Have The Time. Me, I Just Wanna Live A Life I'm Gonna Remember Even If I Don't Write It Down.

I Read Shakespeare And The Bible, And I Can Shoot Dice. That's What I Call A Liberal Education.

If You Really Want To Help The American Theater, Don't Be An Actress, Dahling. Be An Audience.

Wracked With A Hangover I Do My Muttering Over A Black Velvet, A Union Of Champagne And Stout. Don't Be Swindled Into Believing There's Any Cure For A Hangover. I've Tried Them All: Iced Tomatoes, Hot Clam Juice, Brandy Peaches. Like The Common Cold It Defies Solution. Time Alone Can Stay It. The Hair Of The Dog? That Way Lies Folly. It's As Logical As Trying To Put Out A Fire With Applications Of Kerosene.