Sarcasm Will Make Your Tits Fall Off.

He Invented Kung Fu When Translated To English Means Method By Which Short, Bald Guys Can Kick The Bejeezus Out Of You.

Winter Near The Shore Is Cold. The Wind Kicks Up A Salty Mist And Elephant Seals Come To Shore To Trumpet And Rut And Birth Their Pups. Retired People Put Sweaters On Their Lap Dogs And Drag Them Down The Street On Retractable Leashes In A Nightly Parade Of Doggy Humiliation. Surfers Don Their Wetsuits Against The Chill Of Storm Waves And White Sharks Adjust Their Diets To Include Shrink-wrapped Dude-snacks On Fiberglass Crackers.

I Like A Girl With A Substantial Bottom,' Said Renoir, Drawing In The Air The Size Bottom He Preferred.

So I Am Death" Charlie Said Then Turned To His Daughter While Buttering His Toast. "this Is Death Toast Sweety.

Abby: I Could Be A Slave To Your Darkest Desires. I Can Do Things. Anything You Want. Tommy: Well, That's Terrific, Because We Have A Lot Of Laundry Piled Up And The Apartment Is A Wreck. Abby: Anything You Desire, My Lord. I Can Do Laundry, Clean, Bring You Small Creatures To Quench Your Thirst Until I Am Worthy.