Ros Was Dead. He Had Loved Heroin

You Know, Where I Come From, An Antique, To Be Called An Antique, It Has To Be At Least A Hundred Years Old. That's A Law: Before You Can Call Something An Antique, It Has To Be A Hundred Years Old. In L.a., Something That's Been Around For A Couple Of Weeks Is An Antique. It's True! People Are Like, Look At This Old-fashioned Ipod. Look At This! It's The Size Of A Man's Hand! Ha Ha Ha Ha. Back Then-back Then, People Thought Mel Gibson Was Just Acting Crazy. It Was A Very Different Time.

There Are Plans For A New High-speed Train Between Los Angeles And San Francisco. It Will Make The Trip Time 30 Minutes. People In L.a. Are Like, Yes! And People In San Francisco Are Like, Yeah, Sure, Great. We Look Forward To Seeing You.

If Scotland And America Go To War, I'm Afraid I've Already Sworn In.

Here In California, We Passed A Law Against Texting While Driving. But There's No Law Preventing You From Writing A Letter While Driving.

Sarah Palin Has Managed To Use Her Failed Vice Presidential Run To Put Herself In A Position Of Power And Influence. Joe Biden Won The Race And He Hasn't Been Able To Put Himself In A Position Of Power And Influence.