Republican Congressman Pete Hoekstra Has Charged The

You Know What You Call The Two Winners Of That $580 Million Powerball Lottery? ... Former Democrats

The Good News Is, The Stock Market Is Closed And It Can't Hurt Us Again Until Tomorrow.

Mitt Romney Is Coming Under Fire Because Even Though He Is A Multimillionaire, He Only Paid 15 Percent In Taxes. That's Not A Tax, That's Barely A Tip.

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton Is Now Facing A Kind Of Personal Dilemma. She Can't Decide Whether To Drop The Name Clinton From Her Name, Or Drop The Name Rodham. They Can't Figure Out Which One Is More Embarrassing.

At A Press Conference Yesterday Nasa Announced That 2005 Was The Hottest Year On Record. It Is So Hot, And Global Warming Is So Bad, If The Presidential Election Were Held Today, Al Gore Would Still Lose.