Remember Judy Garland? She Retired 40 Times.

I Go To Mcdonald's At Least Once A Week. I Always Get A No. 2.

Never Slap A Man Who Chews Tobacco.

Viewers Figure, 'uncle Willard Doesn't Know Any More About The Weather Than I Do.' They're Right.

There Are Plenty Of Good-looking Women Out There. Go Get Them.

Just Do The Math. In The Next 50 To 75 Years, People Will Be Living To Be 130 And 140. They'll Be Working Until They're 100. It's Incredible.