Remarrying A Husband You've Divorced Is Like

... If They [your Children] Write Their Names In The Dust On The Furniture, Don't Let Them Put The Year.

You Know You're Old When Someone Compliments You On Your Alligator Shoes, And You're Barefoot.

How Do You Know They're Growing Up? Well, The Bite Marks Are Higher.

Every Time I Go Near The Stove, The Dog Howls.

The Real Reason Your Pro Tells You To Keep Your Head Down Is So You Can't See Him Laughing At You.