Religion Cruelly Exploits Our Need To Feel

If God Created Everything, He's Got A Serious Quality Control Problem.

A Pear Is A Failed Apple.

I Like My Jokes To Be Built On A Foundation Of Ideas, Or At Least Smart Observations.

I Use The Word 'fat'. I Use That Word Because That's What People Are: They're Fat. They're Not Bulky; They're Not Large, Chunky, Hefty Or Plump. And They're Not Big-boned. Dinosaurs Were Big-boned. These People Are Not Overweight: This Term Somehow Implies There Is Some Correct Weight... There Is No Correct Weight. Heavy Is Also A Misleading Term. An Aircraft Carrier Is Heavy; It's Not Fat. Only People Are Fat, And That's What Fat People Are! They're Fat !

The Owner Of A Florida Massage Parlor Has Been Arrested By Police. "there Weren't Any Serious Violations," Said The Officers, "she Just Rubbed Us The Wrong Way."