Reality Is An Illusion That Occurs Due

You Can Fool Some Of The People Some Of The Time -- And That's Enough To Make A Decent Living.

California Is The Only State In The Union Where You Can Fall Asleep Under A Rose Bush In Full Bloom And Freeze To Death.

During One Of My Treks Through Afghanistan, We Lost Our Corkscrew. We Were Compelled To Live On Food And Water For Several Days.

The Funniest Thing A Comedian Can Do Is Not Do It.

Bert Williams Was The Funniest Man I Ever Saw And The Saddest Man I Ever Knew.