Reality Is An Illusion That Occurs Due

The Funniest Thing A Comedian Can Do Is Not Do It.

Money Will Not Buy Happiness, But It Will Let You Be Unhappy In Nice Places.

Last Week, I Went To Philadelphia, But It Was Closed.

I Never Drink Water. I'm Afraid It Will Become Habit-forming.

When Asked To Borrow Money: "i'll See What My Lawyer Says. . . . And If He Says Yes, I'll Get Another Lawyer.