Reality Is An Illusion That Occurs Due

A Comic Should Suffer As Much Over A Single Line As A Man With A Hernia Would In Picking Up A Heavy Barbell.

I Am An Expert Of Electricity. My Father Occupied The Chair Of Applied Electricity At The State Prison.

Women Are Like Elephants To Me. I Like To Look At Them, But I Wouldn't Want To Own One.

I've Been Barbecued, Stewed, Screwed, Tattooed, And Fried By People Claiming To Be My Friends. The Human Race Has Gone Backward, Not Forward, Since The Days We Were Apes Swinging Through The Trees.

In The Ten Years Since I Had Run Away From Home...i Had Gone Through More Strange Experiences Than The Average Person Crowds Into A Whole Lifetime.