Realists Know Where They're Going. Dreamers Have

The Secret Of Writing Comedy Is To Know Where It's All Going, Then Get Ahead Of It.

An Economist Is Someone Who Knows All The Answers To Last Years' Questions.

I Remember When Humor Was Gentle Pokes. I Used To Call It 'arm Around The Shoulder' Humor. Now They Go For The Jugular And They Take No Prisoners. It's Mean, Mean Stuff.

Did You Hear About The Woman Who Sent Out 40,000 Valentine Cards Doused In Perfume And Signed, "guess Who?" She's A Divorce Lawyer.

It's Amazing How Important Your Job Is When You Want The Day Off - And How Unimportant It Is When You Want A Raise.