Pretty Much Everywhere I Go, I'm Pretty

I Prefer Big Oprah. I Know Oprah Wants To Be Skinny Oprah, But Her Head Is Too Gigantic To Fit On A Skinny Body. She Has To Accept That, Like Kirstie Alley, She Was Meant To Be... Ahm... Voluptuous!

I Have A No-apology Policy. No Apologies For Jokes. I Apologize In My Real Life All The Time. I Say Ridiculous Things, I Make Mistakes Constantly. But When I'm On Stage, I'm At A Microphone It's A Joke!

I Constantly Say Things That I Regret. I Mortify Myself Constantly.

I'm Also Doing A Special For Comedy Central Called Autobiography. It's Going To Be A Spoof Of Biography.

Food Is My Thing, I Do Not Smoke Or Drink, So Food Is My Vice.