Pessimism- Philosophy Forced Upon The Convictions Of

Goose, N. A Bird That Supplies Quills For Writing. These [quills] When Inked And Drawn Mechanically Across Paper By A Person Called An "author," There Results A Very Fair And Accurate Transcript Of The Fowl's Thought And Feeling.

Pastime, N. A Device For Promoting Dejection. Gentle Exercise For Intellectual Debility.

Repartee, N. Prudent Insult In Retort. Practiced By Gentlemen With A Constitutional Aversion To Violence, But A Strong Disposition To Offend. In A War Of Words, The Tactics Of The North American Indian.

Potable, N. Suitable For Drinking. Water Is Said To Be Potable; Indeed, Some Declare It Our Natural Beverage, Although Even They Find It Palatable Only When Suffering From The Recurrent Disorder Known As Thirst, For Which It Is A Medicine. Upon Nothing Has So Great And Diligent Ingenuity Been Brought To Bear In All Ages And In All Countries, Except The Most Uncivilized, As Upon The Invention Of Substitutes For Water. To Hold That This General Aversion To That Liquid Has No Basis In The Preservative Instinct Of The Race Is To Be Unscientific-and Without Science We Are As The Snakes And Toads.

Edible, Adj.: Good To Eat, And Wholesome To Digest, As A Worm To A Toad, A Toad To A Snake, A Snake To A Pig, A Pig To A Man, And A Man To A Worm.