Personal Technology Has Given Us The Freedom

My A-number One Visceral Fear Is Speed. More Than Knives Or Snakes Or Confined Spaces. Speed. I Won't Even Go On A Motor Boat If I Can Help It.

And There's Something About Having An Especially Different Name That Makes It Difficult To Imagine What You Would Be Like As A Jennifer.

When I Was 14, A Camp Counselor Explained What "eating Out" Was And I Vowed To Never Have It Done To Me. It Seemed Cannibalistic And Unhygienic. I Also Remember That She Claimed--in Front Of An Entire Cabin Of Girls--to Have Been "eaten Out" By One Of The Maintenance Men In A Hot Tub. Under Hot Water. Either Something Is Amiss In My Memory Of This Conversation Or She Found The Most Talented Man On The Planet And All Hope Is Lost For The Rest Of Us.

Life Starts Out With Everyone Clapping When You Take A Poo And Goes Downhill From There.

You Know What They Say: 'why Sit At A Table That Doesn't Have Key Lime Pie On It If You Don't Have To?'