People Say We Need Royalty. We Have

I Like Halloween. It Gives You A Chance To Dress Up Like Something You're Not, You Know? Like When The Miami Dolphins Put On Football Uniforms.

The Big Debate Right Now Is If Saddam Is Alive Or Dead. He's Dead, Then He's Alive, Then Dead, Then Alive. It's Just Confusing. Today They Showed Videotape, And Saddam Was Speaking At His Own Funeral.

As You Know Now, Rush Limbaugh Is The New Face Of The Republican Party, But They'll Probably Go With A Different Body.

When You Think About Flying, It's Nuts Really. Here You Are At About 40,000 Feet, Screaming Along At 700 Miles An Hour And You're Sitting There Drinking Diet Pepsi And Eating Peanuts. It Just Doesn't Make Any Sense.

Weak Coffee Is The Greatest Sin Against Humanity.