People Have An Obligation To Live Up

If Someone Were To Say Seriously, "i'm Divine," She'd Have To Be Locked Up. There Are Lots Of People In Mental Institutions Going Around Saying "i'm God." But Because I'm Funny About It, They Haven't Locked Me Up Yet. And I Don't Give Myself Airs, Either.

When My Daughter Was Younger We Showed Her All The Great Musicals. And The Great Dramas And Great Comedies, And The One That She Took To The Most Was Some Like It Hot.

I'm The Last Of The Truly Tacky Women. I Do Trash With Flash And Sleaze With Ease.

I Wish America Would Spend Even Half As Much Time Complaining About Plastics In Our Oceans As We Do About Actresses' Plastic Surgery.

If Only I'd Known My Differentness Would Be An Asset, Then My Earlier Life Would Have Been Much Easier.