Panicky Despair Is An Underrated Element Of

The Letters In 'brace Beemer' Can Be Arranged To Spell 'embrace Beer.'

For Most Celebrities, The Biggest Meal Of The Day Is Toothpaste (they Use Reduced-fat Crest).

The Most Valuable Function Performed By The Federal Government Is Entertainment.

Hardware: This Is The Part Of The Computer That Stops Working When You Spill Beer On It.

The Irs Spends God Knows How Much Of Your Tax Money On These Toll-free Information Hot Lines Staffed By Irs Employees, Whose Idea Of A Dynamite Tax Tip Is That You Should Print Neatly. If You Ask Them A Real Tax Question, Such As How You Can Cheat, They're Useless. So, For Guidance, You Want To Look To Big Business. Big Business Never Pays A Nickel In Taxes, According To Ralph Nader, Who Represents A Big Consumer Organization That Never Pays A Nickel In Taxes. . . .