Owning A Gun In America Is One

One Man's Piss-soaked Sadomasochistic Orgy Is Another Man's Poetic Ecstasy.

Sometimes I Talk To Religious People About My Column Or What I Do, And I Ask Them To, You Know, Read 20 Or 30 Of Them And Then Come Tell Me That The Message At The Heart Of Every Column Isn't, 'do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You.' In Every Possible Sense.

Outing Is Brutal And It Should Be Reserved For Brutes

I'm Allergic To Dogs, So I Couldn't Even Adopt What Gay Men Typically Adopt When They Have That Maternal Gene.

Every American May Have Equal Access To Ice Cream, But There's No Guarantee That The Outcome Of Eating Ice Cream Will Be Equal.