Opinions Are Like Demo Tapes. I Don't

Attack Life, It's Going To Kill You Anyway.

I Believe All God's Creatures Have A Soul... Except Bears, Bears Are Godless Killing Machines!

Every Night On My Show, The Colbert Report, I Speak Straight From The Gut, Okay? I Give People The Truth, Unfiltered By Rational Argument. I Call It "the No Fact Zone.

I Don't Know A Lot About Politics. I Like Talking About Human Behavior. Politicians Are Funny To Me Because They Often Say One Thing And Behave A Different Way.

With Late Night Show I Can Begin The Search For The Real Stephen Colbert.i Just Hope I Don't Find Him On Ashley Madison.