Only Married People Understand You Can Be

For Me, Anything Goes When I Pick Up A Mike. I'm Not Trying To Hurt People - I Try Not To Get Too Personal - But I Look At Myself As A Reporter. If You Can Report On Anything That Has To Do With Pop Culture, Then Why Can't I Make Jokes About It? Yes, It Hurts. But I Figure That Laughter Sometimes Starts From Pain. You Might Wince, But Then I Know That I'm Doing My Job. The Only Thing I Can Do Wrong Is Not Be Funny.

When You Become A Comedian A Lot Of Stuff That Made You Laugh Before Just Stops. You Stop Watching Your Old Cartoons You Used To Watch. You Stop Reading The Funnies. It's Like Working At A Strip Club. You Don't Come Home And Turn On The Playboy Channel.

I Hate When People Go On Tv And Tell You How Hard It Is To Do Animation. No, No, No. Ups Is Hard Work. I’ve Done Some Animation And Here's How Easy It Is. The Easiest Job In The World. I Go In A Booth And I Go, What’s The Line? And The Guy Goes, It’s Time To Go To The Store. And Then I Go, It’s Time To Go To The Store. And Then They Gave Me $1 Million.

So There's A Cloud Of Rage Around Me, But Being An Artist Kind Of Changes That. No Matter What You Thought Coming In, What Ignorant Thing You Believed, You're In Show Business For Two Years, You're Like, "ok, I Was Wrong." It's Hard To Be Mad At Any Particular Group Of People When You're An Artist.

You Can't Think The Thoughts You Want To Think If You Think You're Being Watched.