Only Lie About The Future.

Democracy Is Buying A Big House You Can't Afford With Money You Don't Have To Impress People You Wish Were Dead. And, Unlike Communism, Democracy Does Not Mean Having Just One Ineffective Political Party; It Means Having Two Ineffective Political Parties.

Talking About Sexual Morality, I Wouldn't Agree That It's Declining, But It's Certainly Changing. Young And Old, We Are Very Much In The Process Of Taking A Fresh Look At The Whole Issue Of Morality. The Only Decline That's Taking Place - And It's About Time - Is In The Old Puritanical Concept That Sex Is Equated With Sin.

According To Statistics, It's A Lot Easier To Get Hit By Lightning Than To Win A Lotto Jackpot. The Good Side: You Don't Hear From Your Relatives.

I've Worked Ever Since I Was A Kid With A Two-bit Kit Of Magic Tricks Trying To Improve My Skills At Entertaining Whatever Public I Had - And To Make Myself Ready, Whenever The Breaks Came, To Entertain A Wider And More Demanding Public.

It Was So Hot Today That Burger King Was Singing, "if You Want It Your Way, Cook It Yourself".