One Critic In The L.a. Times Said

More And More Details Coming Out Now About Spoiled Rich Kid Osama Bin Laden. Time Reports This Week He Was One Of 52 Kids. Mother Must Be Exhausted. This Guy Inherited $80 Million At Age 13 And Has Since Expanded It To $300 Million Through Construction, Smart Investments And Gas And Oil Investments. This Way, He Can Use The Money In His War Against Capitalism.

Attorney General John Ashcroft Said There Is A New Credible Terrorist Threat. He Said Everything Is Under Control; Not To Panic. And Then He Went Back To His Harmonically Sealed Bunker.

Remember When Obama Was Campaigning? Didn't He Say He Was Going To Close Guantanamo Bay? Didn't He Say That? Apparently, He Just Meant For Renovations.

Hey, Barack Obama Had To Give Up His Blackberry. He's The First Wired President. ... He Might Have To Give His Blackberry Because Of Security Reasons. Because They're Easy To Hack Into. In Fact, When Obama Heard He Might Have To Give It Up, He Said, 'omg! Wtf?' I Mean, He Couldn't Believe It.

The Leaders Of The Taliban Said Today That Killing Bin Laden Won't Solve The Problem. But, You Know, It Couldn't Hurt.