Once You Sleep On Feathers You Can't

Dig: I'm Jewish. Count Basie's Jewish. Ray Charles Is Jewish. Eddie Cantor's Goyish. B'nai B'rith Is Goyish; Hadassah, Jewish. If You Live In New York Or Any Other Big City, You Are Jewish. It Doesn't Matter Even If You're Catholic; If You Live In New York, You're Jewish. If You Live In Butte, Montana, You're Going To Be Goyish Even If You're Jewish.

If You're Going To Stop Masturbating, You Can't Taper Off. You've Got To Quit, Cold Jerky!

Anyone Who Does Anything For Pleasure To Indulge His Selfish Soul Will Surely Burn In Hell.

Marijuana Will Be Legal Some Day, Because The Many Law Students Who Now Smoke Pot Will Someday Become Congressmen And Legalize It In Order To Protect Themselves.

I Hate Small Towns Because Once You've Seen The Cannon In The Park There's Nothing Else To Do.