Once You Become A Comedian, You Accept

I'm Kind Of Obsessed With Food. I Like To Eat.

If Someone Writes Something Shitty And You Actually Address Them, Most Of The Time They're Just Like, "oh, I'm Sorry. I'm A Big Fan." And They're Really Nice People. When You're On The Internet, It's People's First Instinct To Just Go After People.

I'm In A Situation With This Girl That's As Hopeless As Overthrowing The Bush Administration.

You’re A Feminist If You Go To A Jay Z And Beyoncé Concert, And You’re Not Like, ‘mmm, I Feel Like Beyoncé Should Get 23 Percent Less Money Than Jay Z'.

I Was A Dishwasher At One Of Those Japanese Places That Cook On Your Table. Not Too Fun.