On Prohibiting Anybody From Learning Anything: Why,

It Rained In The Middle West. Farmers Are Learning That The Relief They Get From The Sky Beats What They Get From Washington.

I Don't Make Jokes. I Just Watch The Government And Report The Facts. I'm Not A Member Of Any Organized Political Party, I'm A Democrat! If We Ever Pass Out As A Great Nation We Ought To Put On Our Tombstone 'america Died From A Delusion That She Had Moral Leadership.'

When You Are Satisfied, You Are Successful. For That's All There Is To Success Is Satisfaction.

Mona Lisa Is The Only Beauty Who Went Through History And Retained Her Reputation.

There Is Something About A Republican That You Can Only Stand Him Just So Long; And On The Other Hand, There Is Something About A Democrat That You Can't Stand Him Quite That Long.