Of Course I'm Naughty. I've Always Had

English People Are Famous For Never Speaking Out But Only Saying What They Really Feel About You Behind Your Back. Americans Believe The Shortest Distance Between Two Points Is A Straight Line. I Like Exploring Those, Er, Differences In National Snippiness.

I Think Everyone Can Recognize The One-upmanship And The Competition That Go On Wherever You Are, Especially Among Groups Where The Women Don't Have To Hold Down Office Jobs And Instead Get In A Total Snit About Who Won The Longest Carrot Contest Or Took First Prize For Summer Chutney In The August Fete.

People Always Say Theres No Such Thing As Bad Publicity, And You Always Think Theyre Right, Because It Seems Self-evident: Nobodys Going To Buy A Magazine That Nobody Ever Talks About, So People Should Want To Buy A Magazine That Everybodys Talking About.

It's Very Hard To Self-motivate Without Someone Standing Over You Snarling, Ready To Hurl The Chalk At Your Head At The Slightest Slackening.

I'm Worried About Looking Like A Bad Person When, In Fact, I Try To Be A Good Person. I Don't Like The Public Image That I've Been Dressed With And It Worries Me.