Of All Possible Sexual Perversions, Religion Is

I Must Confess That I And A Few Others Are Burdened With Heavy Responsibilities Regarding The Future Of Criticism. I Am Certainly, If Not The Inventor, Then At Least One Of The First Systematizers Of An Absurd Critical Practice That, As Soon As It Had Peeked Its Beak Out Of The Nest, Flapping Its New Wet Wings, Took Flight In The Minds Of The Young, Becoming A Wild Ox And Sowing Avant-garde Literature With The Mighty Tomes Of What Might As Well Be Called The Abstract Bear.

Your Imagination, My Dear Fellow, Is Worth More Than You Imagine.

It Is Time To Return To Close Reading, To A Serious And Painstaking Examination Of An Author's Methods, Of His Style. Do Not Be Deterred By Headaches. First Of All, This Would Be Proof Of Your Lack Of Stamina. And Then, Migraines, Piercing Pain And Sudden Stabs At The Temples Are More Likely The Effects Of Syphilis Than Of Hard Work.

And There Are Loners In Rural Communities Who, At The Equinox, Are Said To Don New Garments And Stroll Down To The Cities, Where Great Beasts Await Them, Fat And Docile.

Of All Possible Sexual Perversions, Religion Is The Only One To Have Ever Been Scientifically Systematized.