Obama Better Hope A Kicked Ass Is

I'm A Comedian, For God's Sake. Viewers Shouldn't Trust Me. And You Know What? They're Hip Enough To Know They Shouldn't Trust Me. I'm Just Doing Stand-up Comedy.

It's Wrong To Discriminate Based On Skin Color When There Are So Many Other Reasons Not To Like Someone.

They Have An Amazing Proliferation Of Tv Channels Now: The All-cartoon Channel, The 24-hour-science Fiction Channel. Of Course, To Make Room For These They Got Rid Of The Literacy Channel And The What's Left Of Civilization Channel.

On Thursday, A Passenger Forced His Way Into The Cockpit Of A United Airlines Flight From Miami, But Was Subdued After The Co-pilot Hit Him With A Small Ax. Good To See Our Airlines Are Being Kept Secure By The Latest In 12th Century Technology.

Check Out The Helmet Hair On Randy Moss, Babe! He Looks Like Some Freakish Anti-mr. T After A Long Evening Sleeping Through 'aida.'