O Truth Divine! Enlightened By Thy Ray,

The Dumpling Is Indeed Of More Ancient Institution, And Of Foreign Origin; But Alas, What Were Those Dumplings? Nothing But A Few Lentils Sodden Together, Moisten'd And Cemented With A Little Seeth'd Fat.

Biography Is One Of The New Terrors Of Death.

Almighty Power, By Whose Most Wise Command, Helpless, Forlorn, Uncertain, Here I Stand, Take This Faint Glimmer Of Thyself Away, Or Break Into My Soul With Perfect Day!

It Is Impossible For A Die, With Such Determined Force And Direction Which Makes It Fall On Such A Determined Side, Only I Don't Know The Force And Direction Which Makes It Fall On Such A Determin'd Side, And Therefore I Call That Chance, Which Is Nothing, But Want Of Art.

When I Became Thoroughly Acquainted With The Greek And Roman Authors, I Thought It Incumbent Upon Me To Do Something Towards The Honor Of The Place Of My Nativity, And To Vindicate The Rhetoric Of This Ancient Forum Of Our Metropolis From The Aspersions Of The Illiterate By Composing A Treatise Of The Alercation Of The Ancients; Wherein I Have Demonstrated That The Purity, Sincerity, And Simplicity Of Their Diction Is Nowhere So Well Preserved As Amongst My Neighbourhood.