Now I Don't Know Why He's Denying

Last Night Was Super Tuesday - A 10-state Gop Primary Orgy. A Big, Sweaty Pile Of Lever-yankin Republican Voters. And Like Most Orgies, It Involves A Bunch Of Middle Aged Guys Who Are Not Appealing To Women.

Contraception Leads To More Babies Being Born Out Of Wedlock, Like Fire Extinguishers Lead To More Fires.

Yes, President Romney Will Not Take God Off Our Coins. And That Is So Important Because Right Now, Just Like God, The Value Of Our Currency Really Has To Be Taken On Faith.

It's Clear That When We're This Outnumbered By The Creatures, We Have To Take A Page From The British Empire And Rule The Lesser Species Through Intimidation. That's Why The Single Most Important Thing You Can Do As A Human Is To Dominate An Animal. Need More Proof?rule Over The Fish Of The Sea And The Birds Of The Air And Over Every Living Creature That Moves On The Ground. I'd Say That About Covers It.

Baby Carrots Are Making Me Gay.