Nobody Is Going To Try To Confiscate

It's A Tribute To The Human Brain That Anyone Is Able To Function Out There On Television In A Talk Situation That Is Entirely Artificial.

Electronic Devices Dislike Me. There Is Never A Day When Something Isn't Ailing.

Coming Up Through The Ranks Of Any Calling Can Be Rough, But That Battered Soul Who Survives The Early Years Of Courting The Comic Muse Comes Close To Knowing What Only The Soldier Knows: What Combat Is Like.

The Very Phrase 'oscar Night' Used To Accelerate My Pulse. For One Thing - Dating Myself - It Meant Bob Hope. He Always Had Good, Strong Jokes, That Faultless Delivery, And Always A New Joke About His Own Films' Failure - Once Again - To Be Honored.

Every Comic Can Report A Few 'gift From The Gods' Moments.