No One Can Live In The Light

Ahem. Dear Jesus," Taylor Intoned More Fervently. "we Just Want To Thank You For Gettin' Us Here Safe ---" There Was A Loud, Gurgling Groan. Somebody Shouted, "oh My Gosh! Miss Delaware Just Died!" "--- For Gettin Some Of Us Here Safe," Taylor Continued. "and We Pray That, As We Are Fine, Upstandin', Law-abidin' Girls Who Represent The Best Of The Best, You Will Protect Us From Harm And Keep Us Safe Until We Are Rescued And Can Tell Our Story To People Magazine. Amen." - "beauty Queens

This Is Going To Make Such A Great Story: How I Nursed A Pirate Back To Health And My Love Saved Him," Miss Ohio Said With A Contented Sigh. "and Then We Can Have Our Own Reality Show About Our Relationship." - "beauty Queens

A Place To Keep All Your Secrets

It's So Laughable That It's Somewhere Beyond Comedy And Right Into Tragedy Again.

If This Were A Movie, I Would Bust A Secret Move So Fierce The Entire Place Would Be Razed To The Ground. I'd Finish With Something Snappy Like "and Don't Forget My Soda, Punk" While I Strolled Off Into The Night.