My Misery Is Reaching Epidemic Proportions.

Pippa's Laugh Is Bitter, Tinged With Tears. 'ha! Why Do Girls Think Being Beautiful Will Solve Every Problem? Being Beautiful Just Creates Problems. It's A Misery. I Wish I Were Someone Else.

Travel Opens Your Mind As Few Other Things Do. It Is Its Own Form Of Hypnotism, And I Am Forever Under Its Spell

We're In English Class, Which For Most Of Us Is An Excruciating Exercise In Staying Awake Through The Great Classics Of Literature. These Works - Groundbreaking, Incendiary, Timeless - Have Been Pureed By The Curriculum Monsters Into A Digestible Pabulum Of Themes And Factoids We Can Spew Back On A Test. Scoring Well On Tests Is The Sort Of Happy Thing That Gets The School District The Greenbacks They Crave. Understanding And Appreciating The Material Are Secondary.

J.t Woodland, Known As “the Cute One” In The Corporation’s Seventh-grade Boy Band, Boyz Will B Boyz. Due To The Success Of Their Triple-platinum Hit, “let Me Shave Your Legs Tonight, Girl,” Boyz Will B Boyz Ruled The Charts For A Solid Eleven Months Before Hitting Puberty And Losing Ground To Hot Vampire Boyz.

What Do You Feel? I’ve Never Been Asked This Question Once. None Of Us Has. We Aren’t Supposed To Feel. We’re British.