No Libraries, No Progress.

The Best Cookies Of All In The World Are The Ones My Daughter Sally Makes. They Come Out All Uniform With Nice Little Air Holes.

When I Can, I Do 25 Minutes Of Calisthenics Every Day.

Viewers Figure, 'uncle Willard Doesn't Know Any More About The Weather Than I Do.' They're Right.

I Talk Too Much. I Eat Too Much.

I'm Not The Dumbest Guy That Ever Lived.