Newt Gingrich Is Against Same-sex Marriage. Well,

One Of The Remarkable Things About Being 19 Is That You Can Break Open A Case Of Warm Beer At Midnight And Still Be Wide-eyed And Alert For Your Eight-a.m. Class. And That Gave Me The False Impression That My Life Would Always Be Like That.

People Say New Yorkers Can't Get Along. Not True. I Saw Two New Yorkers, Complete Strangers, Sharing A Cab. One Guy Took The Tires And The Radio; The Other Guy Took The Engine.

It's Interesting What Former Presidents Do When They Leave Office. Bush Is Now Working As A Motivational Speaker. And If You Want To Be Motivated, Who Better To Turn To Than The Guy Who Invaded The Wrong Country And Started A Depression.

Paul Ryan Announced That After A Lot Of Thought, And Talking It Over With Family And Friends, That He Is Not Going To Run For President In 2016. I'm Telling You, This Announcement Sent Shock Waves Through No One.

I Was Christmas Shopping And Ran Into A Guy On The Street. I Noticed His Watch And Said That It Runs Slow. He Said, "so Does The Guy I Stole It From."