New Rule: Someone Has To Tell Francesco

Down In Texas, Rick Perry Announced He Will Not Run For Reelection. He Said 'i Executed One Last Woman, That Fertilizer Plant Exploded, I Returned Abortions To Back Alleys Where It Belongs, My Work Here Is Done.' I Think That's What He Said, He Was Chewing A Crayon.

Heroin May Be Bad, But It Sure As Hell Hasn't Hurt My Cd Collection.

Look, I Have Never Made A Secret Of The Fact That I Have Tried Marijuana... About 50,000 Times.

Recognition Is One Of The Three Big Elements Of Comedy.

A President Can Be Unpopular For Good Reasons. You Know, I'm Not Always On The Side That The People Are Right, For God's Sake. But, You Know, He's Not Popular When He Goes Overseas. He Couldn't Go To Rosa Parks' Funeral.