New Rule: News Organizations Have To Stop

The Bible Looks Like It Started Out As A Game Of Mad Libs.

The Worst Years Of My Life Were The First Two Years I Was Doing Standup. You're Learning How To Do, And You're Going On Stage In Front Of Two Drunks And People Aren't Laughing And You're Broke. That's A Really Hard Time In Your Life.

I Think The Funniest Stuff Comes From The Heaviest Stuff.

Maybe Every Other American Movie Shouldn't Be Based On A Comic Book. Other Countries Will Think Americans Live In An Infantile Fantasy Land Where Reality Is Whatever We Say It Is And Every Problem Can Be Solved With Violence.

Funny That All Of Nixon's Crimes - Anonymous Campaign Cash, Wiretapping, Undeclared Wars - Are All Legal Now. Discuss.