My Wife Told Me That In The

For Stand-up Comedians That Go Onstage And Get To Write And Perform And Direct, And Do All These Things, The Allure Of A Television Show Is Still There But If It Doesn't Offer A Level Of Creative Fulfillment, It's Oddly Unappealing.

The Pearly Gates. Am I The Only One Who Finds It Odd That Heaven Has Gates? What Kind Of Neighborhood Is Heaven In?

Bacon's The Best, Even The Frying Of Bacon Sounds Like An Applause.

I've Always Wanted To Be An Actor. I've Never Planned On The Acting And The Stand-up Feeding Each Other; They've Always Been Separate Desires.

Manhattan's Probably One Of The Bluest Parts In The Country, And Indiana's Definitely One Of The Redder States. I Have Sympathy For Both Sides.